Recently I came across a very angry post from one of my curvy girls. It was regarding an ” experiment” that involved a woman who is , this is always good, wearing a fat suit and the reactions of the men that she had made dates with on Tinder.

Not every fat woman has to look repulsive …why did they make her look so ugly? I understand the point of this experiment, but just because a woman is fat does not mean she has to have a huge double chin or rub her belly……really fucking rude.

 

The young men that ran this ” experiment” claimed that while the number one fear in the mind of women dating is that she will meet a killer , the #1 fear for men is that the woman will be fat. Let’s let that sink in shall we. Moving on.

After showing this woman’s pictures on Tinder where she is her normal self, pretty , young and around 130 lbs or so, they have her put on what is the worse example of a plus size woman I have seen. It seems that the woman has gained at least 100 lbs , has a fat beard and huge bulbous stomach. The guys then begin to trickle in and get horrified at the woman that they are meeting.

Now the second part of the ‘experiment’ is a guy who does the same thing. In these instances the women react with kindness. They talk to the guy. They get to know him and one girl even gives him a kiss. Aww, right ? NO !!!

This upset me for several reasons.

  1. Women are buying this;I read several of the responses and many of these women were saying how ” this is how it is if you are overweight” , or ” I a not surprised, this is how men are”.
  2. Men are buying this; the ridiculous standard answer so often being ” Men are visual” like women are blind beings of light and have no desire for attraction.
  3. This was built on a bias;  They didn’t add 10 lbs to the body of their models , they didn’t have her describe herself as plus sized and then show up that way , they did deliberate things to make the men and women in the experiment react in a certain way .

This was just your standard juvenile use of ” gross out” to “prove” that men find fat women disgusting. And of course that we still are supposed to buy into the Fred Flintstone theory, a fat man with a hot girl is fine. A fat women should buy more cats, if she wants love. This is not true for me and this is not true for you or anyone. There are always these “experiments” that tell women be young, skinny , pretty and quiet if you want to be happy and men to love you. This was not an social experiment… this was fat baiting and fat shaming. They were no other factors. Would these men have been the same if the date they were expecting was 20 lbs heavier but much prettier than the pictures? If she was clearly younger than she said or older, if she was actually very fit but a body builder with muscles corded all over her body?  In other words was the problem the fat or the lie? I have gone on blind dates at a size 18 and a size 8. I have never lied about what I looked like and I have had varying degrees of success in these dates but my looks were never the issue.  although to be fair I have never looked , as this woman did , like an ice cream that was melting in the sun.

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Brie Stoll is a writer, she has been writing for the last 28 years and has been published in several magazines and poetry reviews under her various nom de plumes. Her first published story “The Goddess” was featured as a storyline in the movie “Relax its just sex”. She has worked behind the scenes as a ghost for several writers. In 2010 she returned to the vocation that she loves with her blog , and is currently working on her first mystery Novel .

8 COMMENTS

  1. This is sooo wrong on sooo of many levels. I actually attract more men being heavy than I did at a size 11. Just not into dating right now. But I do get asked out.

  2. I think all we thick women can say that we have no issues getting men, they’re a lot of men out there that love bigger women… A LOT

  3. To be fair, this was a deception. She had pictures online that did not represent how she would look on the date. And she obviously didn’t mention in any correspondence that something might have changed. Shallowness aside, it’s simply deceptive and not a good way to start a relationship or engender trust.

    If I set up a date with someone who said they didn’t smoke or drink, then they showed up to the date throwing back beers while smoking like a chimney, I would be pretty mad. They lied, and they wasted my time. Even the smallest deception would have me running in the other direction. Trust is everything in a relationship.

    I’ve been fat all my life, so I know very well what it’s like to be treated as a 2nd class citizen. But I wish there was another way to do this experiment that didn’t involve deception. I believe the experiment is tainted by that dishonesty. Just my opinion.

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