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A Curvy Girl’s DIY Guide to Lovin’ the Skin you’re in: Part 2 – How to Tame Your Inner Critic and Become your Own Best Friend

Have you ever wondered why you’re often so down on yourself, feeling fat and ugly and eating out of control?

What You Say to Yourself Matters

In Part 1 of this series, I mentioned that it’s these “I hate my fat body beliefs that you’ve come to accept as your own that are your mortal enemies. These make up your self image, which determines every aspect of your life.

Living in a thin obsessed society, as plus sized woman we’re taught to view our curvy bodies with a mixture of regret and apology. Fearing the judgment of others, we often shun family photos and put off doing many of the things we love. But the source of those insecurities lies in the lies that you tell yourself.

Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS): What they are and how they affect you
Science has proven that we talk to ourselves thousands of times a day and most of our inner dialog is negative. In his book, “Change Your Brain Change Your Life”, Daniel Amen, M.D., explains how these automatic negative thoughts are the real cause of your insecurities.
The limbic system is a part of your brain that stores your emotions and memories. When it gets over stimulated it can lead to anxiety, depression, anger, impulsiveness and obsessiveness. And when you’re in that place, a binge isn’t usually too far away.

To triumph over these thoughts you must be able to see yourself as a whole person, more than just a number on the scale. Here’s a plan to get you started:

Tune In. Pay attention to what you’re thinking. By first becoming aware of what’s going on in your mind, you can step away from it just enough to realize that much of it is based on your fears and limiting beliefs.

Stop Putting Yourself Down: Put a ban on sarcasm, criticism and meanness. Make a vow to become your own best friend. Talk to yourself lovingly in soft tones and with sweetness as you would speak to a good friend or loved one.

Stand up for yourself: Your lack of confidence is probably showing up in your relationships. Because we teach people how to treat us, your body hating ways may have been sending the wrong messages to others. It’s never too late to start over. Let people know in no uncertain terms that you’re no longer okay with having them make comments about your body or what you eat.

Stop Blaming Yourself. Can’t stop eating? That’s your body telling you something is wrong. Something is hurting you and causing you to feel pain. Overeating is a symptom. It’s not the problem.

In the end, if you want to tame your inner critic, get control over your cravings, and love yourself more, you’ll have to put the emphasis on expressing your needs, dealing with your stress and managing your emotions. This is something I teach women each week on my Curvy and Confident Coaching Call.

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