Daddy and daughter

So, what exactly are “daddy issues”?

Also referred to as the Electra complex; it’s a psychological term developed by Freud’s colleague Carl Jung. For Jung, the Electra complex denotes a woman’s sexual attachment to her father and a corresponding competitive hostility toward her mother. It’s from Jung’s Electra complex that we’ve derived the modern concept of “daddy issues.” –

What?? Well, all the technical jargon aside, it simply means that in many cases; daddy wasn’t around either emotionally or physically so in an attempt to compensate for that we develop different whacked out (technical term-LOL) ways of thinking. We’re generally talking about things like aggressive flirtation, promiscuity, a tendency toward exhibitionism, and certain emotional hang-ups.”

So, how can we recognize daddy issues and handle them? Let’s talk about it:

Daddy Issue #1: Sexual Aggressiveness

Most guys smile from ear-to-ear at the idea of a sexually aggressive woman. However, if you are grinding up against him on the dance floor, initiating public groping and dragging him by his belt into her bedroom on the first date, it might be a sign of your daddy issues. If you’re down for a one-night stand, that’s fine, but if you’re interested in a relationship with this guy, your strategy should be to take things slow. The second you jump into bed he’s bound to lose any real interest in anything going forward. You’ve now set the tone for the rest of your dealings with him. So, if you’re interested in more than just sex, don’t feel so desperate to impress him with your “special” trick right away.

Daddy Issue #2: Excessive flirting

I personally think guys favor the girl that knows how to bat her eyelashes the right way. Now, once you have the guy, flirting with strange men is not going to fly. We get all tied in a knot when they do it, so why should it be okay for you?

It’s important to recognize that sometimes the flirting may be because you crave the attention and validation. You need to realize that you are beautiful and you don’t need the guy at the end of the bar to make you feel beautiful and worthwhile. Date yourself! Do those things that make you feel good about you; mani-pedi, facials, quiet walks on the beach, shopping…whatever. Find ways to make YOU happy.

Daddy Issue #3: Clinginess

Every woman wants care and assurance from her partner and, of course, girlfriends/wives want to spend quality time with their boyfriends/husbands. However, a girl with daddy issues wants those things in extreme excess. She may throw a fit whenever he makes plans without her, doesn’t call her every day (sometimes a few times a day), needs to know where he is and what he’s doing constantly, or wants to be under him constantly. This stems from the need to control and latch on to the love in an effort not to lose it. I get it…nobody wants to be hurt and lonely, but you have to have trust that the guy YOU have chosen means what he says to you. If by some chance he doesn’t and things don’t work out, that means he wasn’t the one for you anyway.

What’s the best way to deal with this? Honey, get a life! I mean it! Start to maintain a separate social life. Hang out with your friends (who probably have been neglected because you have been obsessing over this guy), find a new hobby or go back to an old one.

Daddy Issue #4: Constant comparing

As I said at the beginning, according to Jung, daddy issues are all connected to her relationship with her father. Whether you buy Jung’s theory or not, I honestly believe that a woman’s relationship with her father affects her romantic relationships. He is essentially your very first male/female relationship and it sets the tone for all the rest going forward. If her dad failed to show her love and affection, she might grow up expecting the worst from men. The key in these situations is to make sure you are aware of these unfair comparisons. He is not your father, nor are all guys the same. If your last man (or men) was a flaming jerk…that is just him. You can’t categorize all men in the same box with the few that you have messed with. Frankly, if you continue to hook up with guys that are disrespectful losers, you need to change up your selection process.

If it was only this simple…

I recognize that diagnosing a woman with “daddy issues” is never a cut and dry thing. There are women out there that had fantastic father that still exhibit a lot of these behaviors. The best way to deal with behaviors that threaten your daily relationships is to seek help and advice from a professional to sort it all out. Trust me, both you and your future Mr. Right will appreciate it!