In my quest for knowledge (and interesting things to speak of at dinner parties), I began to think about words that interest me. One such word is vagina. Now, to me, it sounds like something that requires a shot or a specialist. It’s just too friggin’ clinical to describe one of the most powerful organs ever created. Oh, sorry, the soapbox was too soon.
Digressing. Interesting how the word vagina is defined as “a sheath or scabbard” by from some Latin person. So my mind begins to wonder; did the person stare at a vagina and, not knowing what to do with it, shouted, ‘Vagina! Vagina!?’
Do you think s/he was scared of it? Well, segue some odd thousands of years later and we now have monologues to sing her pink praises. She is given nicknames such as Va JayJay (thank you Oprah and Cosmopolitan) and beautifully compared to her floral counterparts in many an O’Keefe.
Now, me being me, I couldn’t just leave it all clinical. So I appealed to my contemporaries to tell me what they call her. I’ve heard everything from the juvenile but ever popular coochie; the empowering, cape-blazing, lie-detecting Wonder Woman; the naughty, near porn-tastic Juicy Red; and the classic Lady Godiva (and you know anything with a chocolate reference is going to get a HUGE thumbs up from many). I’m also partial to the raunchy Pink Taco, but only for special occasions like weddings and octogenarian birthday galas.
In the end, there are many names for this muscle, organ, warmer of the gladius (a.k.a. penis Latin style) and social icon. But with all of the names and roles she bears, has anyone just stopped and looked at her for a while? Whether she’s your newborn’s express chute or a bodily fluid catch & release or someone else’s Yummy Goodness, stop and take a moment of silence and smile like an idiot in appreciation for her sheer distinctiveness in being the ONLY thing Barbie doesn’t have!