Ahhh…the elusive G-Spot. Many have heard of it, but not many have experienced it. Admittedly, it can seem more complicated than activating a shuttle launch sequence at first. In fact, the misguided notion that a woman can only achieve an orgasm via the clitoris persisted all the way up to the 1950’s (gasp!) Fortunately, the Dark Ages are far behind us, and today we know infinitely more about the nature of our sexuality. So don’t panic, because unlocking the secret of the G-spot is really quite simple when you know the right code; and that’s exactly why we’re here. This article is intended to explain everything you need to know about the G-spot as simply and clearly as possible. So without further ado, let’s jump right in!
Where and what is the G-Spot?
The G-spot is a lima bean sized spongy mass of tissue that comprises uterine glands wrapped around the urethra. Because of it’s proximity to the bladder, many women report an urge to urinate during the first moments of G-spot stimulation.
Though the G-spot’s location varies slightly from person to person, it’s generally located about two-finger-joints length (About 2 inches) into the vagina on the side facing your tummy. You might not be able to find it immediately, but don’t worry; it’s there. The G-spot is actually behind, and not on, the anterior (front) vaginal wall, so you’ll need to apply firm pressure to stimulate it.
For the most part, the G-spot remains concealed in its unstimulated state, but once aroused, it begins to swell from increased blood flow. It will also be distinguishable by its firm and lightly ridged texture. That’s just one reason to warm things up with a little foreplay before heading for the G-spot; another is that simultaneous clitoral and G-spot orgasms……can you say KA-POW?
It’s important to keep in mind that some women are not and never will be receptive to G-spot stimulation. Some even find the experience irritating, so be sure to communicate with your partner, and let them know just what feels good and what doesn’t. Having said that, a lack of stimulus is the most common cause of unresponsiveness in the G-spot; in which case, it can usually be “reactivated” with proper stimulation and pelvic exercises. Building up your pelvic muscles is a great way to enhance your sex life in general.
Get Ready For Lift Off…
Though having a lover rub your G-spot can be oh-so much fun, I recommend flying solo on your first mission. This way you’ll be better prepared to tell your co-pilot exactly how you like it when the time comes. There are several G-spot-friendly positions that we’ll mention, but using the fingers is generally considered more effective.
First of all, and I can’t stress this enough: make sure your (or your partner’s) nails are neatly trimmed! Start off by playing with yourself the way you normally would, devoting as much time as you like to the clitoris (some women prefer to climax at least once before going for the G-spot.) Setting the right mood with candles, music or whatever turns you on will also help you get aroused and ready for G-spot play.
Once sufficiently “pre-heated,” use your index and middle finger to locate your G-spot as previously mentioned. The best position for this is squatting or lying on your stomach. Be sure to massage with lots of pressure in a continuous motion at first-we’re sure you’ll have your own favorite method before long. You may experience discomfort or a desire to urinate during the first couple of minutes; this feeling is absolutely normal and should quickly change into a highly pleasurable one. In addition, it might be helpful to press against the G-spot with your other hand from the opposite side; sometimes you can feel it swell between your hands.
Reaching your own G-spot isn’t exactly convenient, and even if you do, maintaining firm and steady pressure can be even more of a challenge. That’s why many women prefer to have a partner stimulate their G-spot.
Start out lying on your stomach with your legs apart and your hips raised. (This position is just a suggestion. Lying on your back with your knees up is also a popular position.) Have your partner crook his fingers downward towards your navel and massage your G-spot with a firm and consistent touch. Tell your partner to feel free to experiment with circling, rocking or any other kinds of motions until you have a favorite, and be sure to give him or her lots of feedback. Communication is a lot more important than it may seem; if you tell your partner you enjoyed something you didn’t, he or she is going to repeat it over and over. Your partner will most likely be willing to obey your every command in the bedroom anyway, so don’t be afraid to get a little selfish.
One of the best things about having a partner “at hand” is the following position. Once his or her fingers are massaging your G-spot, their thumb should be in perfect position to play with your clitoris. Even better, have your partner use their tongue instead! It seems so simple, yet it can add a whole new dimension to your sex life.
Having a good G-spot vibrator is ideal for playing with yourself, and it doesn’t hurt to use one with a partner either. The chief benefits are that it’s easier to reach your G-spot with a toy than your hand, and the vibrations take care of all the work for you. If you’re a beginner to G-spot stimulation, you might want to start out with a toy made out of soft material, like jelly or some types of rubber. However, many women prefer toy made out of a more rigid substance like silicone, plastic, metal or even glass, because you can apply more pressure with a harder material. Regardless of the material, a good G-spot toy will measure 4 to 8 inches in length and have a curved tip to help you direct the vibrations and pressure. Also, keep a look out for toys with a vibrating motor in the tip-these are usually designed specifically for G-spot stimulation.
Vonda Howard is the author of four novels, including the widely popular, D-Cup Dives Series that features sexy, and confident plus sized women. She is also the Editor-In-Chief of Black Literature Magazine. She also enjoys appletinis, gummy bears, Chipotle and all things filled with glitter and sparkles.