I know we all have our circle of “girls” that we hang out with, go to movies, out to dinner, to the club, etc., always a good time right? But what happens when you meet someone of the opposite sex that you would like to spend time with and the other friends in the circle are still single? Well of course everyone is ecstatic about your new found relationship and they shower you with nothing but praise and well wishes. Everyone wants to hear every little detail of each and every date you have with him. They’re hanging on to your every word. That is until you start to spend less and less time with them and more time with your new fella.

Things change, suddenly and sometimes dramatically. All of a sudden your stories of public displays of affection and tidbits of information are no longer as well received as they were in the beginning. Anytime you mention his name now their eyes begin to roll in the back their heads and sideways glances are exchanged within the circle. Instead of sharing, your stories are now being perceived as bragging. What, do you think you’re better than them now that you have a man? What happened, did you change or did your friends change? Well, probably a little bit of both happened.

The “honeymoon” stage of a relationship can be hard on your friends at times. Some of them may not be able to relate to what you’re feeling if they have never felt what you’re feeling before. Others may be able to relate all too well and are missing having what you now have. So every time you bring up the happiness that you are experiencing in your relationship you bring up memories of long lost loves. Feeling their resentment you start to back away from your friends even more which makes them see you as ignoring them for your new man. When in reality you are simply responding to their actions of negativity. You feel that you’re being put in a position to choose between your man and your friends. Not a good position to be in. Friends should know by now that they usually lose this battle. More likely than not, the woman will choose her man over her friends every time. But if a person is really a true friend they would never make their friend have to choose in the first place.

In the above scenario although your friends started to resent you it was not with malicious intent. There are times though when so-called friends will set out on a covert operation to make you miserable and break up your relationship. Sad but true. Some women are just that vicious. They start to plant ideas in your head about the “what ifs, maybes, and the infamous I heard” lines about your man until you begin to doubt yourself, your man and the relationship. These are the type of women you really want to be aware of and keep them out of your business. The bad thing about inviting people into your business is that they’re not always ready to leave when you want them to. And if they are miserable they definitely want you there to share the experience with them.

Everyone deserves happiness in their lives but we all don’t receive it at the same time. So why can’t we just be happy for someone when they are receiving their moment. Yours will come soon enough and think about it; wouldn’t you want others to be happy for you when it does?

*If you want your voice to be heard just pic up the Mic. Let’s Talk About It.*

Val’s Voice