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Affairs of the Mind

Affairs of the Mind

You have known him for many years. You have been the best of friends. You are always there for each other both in good times and bad. He has shared significant moments with you like the day you got married or had your first child. After years of being in denial your curiosity finally kills the cat and brings you back to a place when you first met him. You and he worked side by side at that high school part time job. He would give you a ride home and you would flirtatiously hug and the occasional exchange of a kiss on the cheek. You felt safe with him. You and him would go to a restaurant and share a meal. Yet, you did not feel enough for him to make him your significant other. You were simply attracted to his personality. Who he was at heart was important to you.

Then one day you find yourself friends for years reconnecting and reminiscing about your high school and college days. He is now successful wearing a suit and tie. Has a sexy car. Works out at the gym and takes care of him. He calls you all the time singing Drake’s, “I’m so proud of you”. He constantly tells you how he loves you always and you are his girl (in the friend way). He is confident, sexy, and definitely has the grown man thing down. Except, you find yourself married with kids and wondering if there could have been something? His personality turns you on so bad. The sound of his voice makes your body pulsate better than it has in years. You don’t care what he looks like but his personality and who is drives the aggressive attraction that you so desperately crave to explore.

Like Sanaa Lathan and Omar Epps leaving the spring dance in “Love and Basketball”, you find you and him meeting up one night to catch up over coffee.   Before the coffee is done you have now found yourself in his hotel room ripping each other’s clothes off. Seeing that body you never really saw before. Touching each other in places you were too shy to ever reveal to each other. You are his girl (in a friend way) but tired of having an affair with him in your mind. So you act.

The next morning you wake up to a note from him saying, “It was good but an hour of pleasure is not worth what we have as friends. I will meet you for lunch later in the week because I don’t want us to feel awkward before I leave on my business trip”.

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Affairs of the mind become reality between the sheets and the next morning the feeling of hurt and disbelief set in. Do you stay friends with him? Can you have what you had before? Why is it so easy for a man to get up the next morning and move on as if it did not happen and the woman is left confused and hurt.

I can’t wait to hear your thoughts and his thoughts? Sanaa and Omar had a child and lived happily ever after but ladies in the morning the movie is over and life is there. How do you ever move on from here without it being complicated?

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