There are many obstacles involved with decision-making. Things tend to cloud one’s mind. I have created the three P’s for Love & Business with the help of one of the world’s leading Behavioral Scientists, Sille Krukow. These are basic guidelines or rules to live by. Sure, there are other rules that also apply but I found these to be the most important. Really, the first thing should be that you actually like the person that you are involved with- on any level.

Sille Krukow

Recently, I met with Denmark’s most known Behavioral Scientist, Sille Krukow. Sille and I both have business clients and we discussed the three P’s. She uses the three P’s for decision making. Sille has met with many corporations, world governments, and the United Nations. Governments hire Sille to help nudge their populations toward the better good. She has a ah-mazing TED talk called “Design to Nudge and Change behaviour”. Krukow, has also written, produced and starred in a TV show discussing her science.

Sille shared with me that in business the Three P’s are Pay, Portfolio and Pleasure. When making decisions at least two of these Ps must apply before a final decision can be made. Simply put, you need two P’s to pass go! If you are being paid for a product and it improves your portfolio, the answer is yes. If you are being paid for a project and it is pleasurable, the answer is yes. If something pleasures you and it is good for your portfolio, the answer is yes.

I started to think about this and how it also applies to lovers. I have a lover who does not understand why I do not have more dates with other men. I actually have had zero dates with other men. I started to think about this. I certainly do get offers. Just recently, I had three men reach out on social media, four men via text and one who actually picked up the phone. I was approached three times at random places around New York City. The men in real life, I just had no connection with, were not age appropriate or I was not attracted to. The man who called, called late and about six times. He is an ex-boyfriend from when I was eighteen and we have stayed in touch. He was calling me from 11pm-1am. We can simply do the math here ladies. It is exactly what the other men wanted via text. First of all ladies, I don’t consider myself pizza and I certainly don’t deliver (myself that is). All of these men know that I love good wine, cuisine, and good to great conversation. I want respect and I want to be treated like a lady. Why they thought this behavior was okay, I’m not sure. I guess it is a numbers game. Eventually someone will say yes. By the way, the Facebook men were from out of the country. This is something that happens to me a lot.

I also did not get why I said no to these men, besides me not being pizza pie. I could have nudged them for more. However, if I had to do this, they were not emotionally intelligent enough for me to begin with. It was the other three P’s: Pleasure, pleasure and pleasure. Yes, this may sound hedonistic, but this should be applied in order to enjoy your life to the fullest. Why not? Let’s go in a little deeper here. What are these pleasures? For me, they are: the physical pleasure, the pleasure of intellect and the pleasure of the palate. In my opinion, these are the most important things for a lover. It also does not hurt if they are humorous and good-looking. However, they must have all three to pass go! This may sound easy, but it is not. It is difficult to find. This, and the obvious, which is chemistry. I have given up on the idea of the boyfriend and the husband at this time. I am focusing on my career. This is when everyone says you will find what you are looking for, when you stop looking.